I wrote I Loved You Before I Met You after being told for 3 years that it would be very difficult and life threatening for me to try and have my own children.
Why I wrote this book
I wrote this book to show to my children, that I will one day adopt, that I loved them before I met them and perhaps maybe before they were even born. I had originally wanted this book to be kept for just my kids. A book written specially for them. But I wanted 2 things. Things that I couldn’t accomplish if I didn’t publish this book.
- I wouldn’t get it date stamped. I wanted proof that, yes, I did write this is 2016 and that I’m not lying about when I wrote it to make my kids feel special.
- I had more and more of my friends struggling to adopt and other friends struggling to get pregnant. I wanted them to be able to have this book for their babies so that those little ones would know just how deeply they are loved before they ever met their parents.
This book is from the parents point of view talking to their children about what they thought and felt about them before they were ever born. About if they were a boy or a girl, what their unique talents would be, what they would grow up the be, and more.
This book is written for children ages 0-4 years old. I would love it if this book would become one of their favorite and that it would stick with them as they grow up. But, ultimately, my hope is that even if they don’t remember the book or the words in it, I hope they would remember the feeling of love being poured out from between the pages and from between their parents arms.
This book is perfect for expecting mother/fathers whether they are pregnant or adopting a child.
The story behind this book
When I was first told, at the age of 17, that it would be life threatening to be pregnant, it rocked my world (in a bittersweet way). All my life I have dreamed about being pregnant. Seriously, when I was 4 I asked Santa if I could have a baby grow in my belly. Clearly me being 4 I didn’t get what I want (and I’m glad I didn’t! Crazy, 4 year old Alissa stop asking for ridicules things!). But, much to my delight, I got something better.
You see it took my parents 4 years to get pregnant with me. I was considered a miracle baby. So when they wanted another child, my mom decided that she didn’t want to go though another 4 years of negative tests and doctors visits. So my parents filed papers to adopt. 9 months later (9 months, funny huh?), they adopted my little brother Kyle on Halloween night when he was only 2 days old.
One of my first memories is walking down the steps of my grandparent’s house, dressed up in Mary Poppins Halloween costume. It was hands down the best costume I had ever worn. From the white lace button up shirt to the enormous, never ending bag that I was sure to somehow fill to the brim with candy. I stopped on the stairs, posed, and let my fans (my Mom and Grandma) take all the photos of me that they could get. A couple dozen photos later I walk down the rest of the stairs and was ready to hit the streets and get my ‘much deserved’ candy. My mom stopped me halfway to the door and asked me, “Alissa, would you like to go Trick or Treating tonight? Or would you rather go and get a baby brother?” (Obviously I had no choice in the matter but she knew what my reaction would be.)
I have never stripped or run up the stair so fast in my life. I’m shocked that I had only stumbled up the stairs once. All the while screaming “BABY BROTHER!!! I WANT A BABY BROTHER!!!”
The car ride to the hospital was filled me constantly bouncing in my seat while whisper singing “I’m getting a baby brother. I’m getting a baby brother!” Desperately trying to interrupt my 40 minute solo, my Mom kept reminding me to have impeccable manners. Always say please. Never forget a thank you. And to always stay right by her side… yea that didn’t end up happening.
When we (finally) got to the hospital and the nurse told us which room the baby and his birth mom was in, I wiggled out of my moms hold of my hand and went on a full on sprint. I got to the room, crouched down slightly (cause that would help me see better?), located the baby boy and ran over to him.
While my mom talked to the family, I stayed there for over an hour. Silently staring into the face of a sleeping, perfect little baby boy.
I never once felt that he was anything less then my brother. Blood relation has no merit with me. Ever since that day, when I saw that baby’s face, he was my family. I thank God everyday that it took my parent so long to have me. How my mom decided to not go though that again and to adopt. Since then I always wanted to adopt at least one of my children. So when the doctors came in and said that it was life threatening for me to try to carry a baby it hurt, but it did not break me. I just went from the mentality of “I want to adopt 1 baby” to “I’ll adopt all my babies”. I don’t know if my brother knows what a difference he made in my life by becoming my family. Of how he showed me that you don’t have to be blood relatives to be siblings. Of how he saved me by just being born. I love that kid to bits and am honored to have him call me his big sister.